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Tuesday, 25 October 2016


The story of an American massage on a Georgian stud

2009-04-10 14:03

3/3/3/2333.jpegIn Tbilisi the confrontation is continuing between the opposition, which has finally united for a "final and decisive battle", and the "disgrace of Georgia", whom opposition supporters of all colours and tendencies have decided to join forces to wipe out.

I decided to find out the latest news from Tbilisi first hand. I phoned my old pal from Tbilisi, Guram, to inquire about how yesterday's rally went.

"Everything's ok, Sasha, we're not the same as those hooligans from Chisinau who smash in windows. But the most interesting piece of news, which has become the lead story in Tbilisi, is Miss Dorothy Stein."


"And who's Dorothy Stein?"

"Are you from another planet, Sasha? And you think of yourself as an expert on international show business. And yet you don't know someone as famous as Dr. Dot."

"Come on, come on, what's the antidote, who else has been poisoned there? Is Badri Patarkatshvili, who Misha's friend Elenin offered the wrong cognac in London, not enough for you lot?"

"Vaime, (an emotional exclamation that Georgians make - ed.), why do you talk such rubbish, Sasha, noone's been poisoned here. I'm telling you that there's a masseuse, an American, who goes by the name of Doctor Dot, shortened from Dorothy. And her surname is Stein. And this Miss Stein, or Doctor Dot, gives you the kind of massage that afterwards... Vaime, Sasha, have you ever felt like a genuine stud?"

"I don't know... I once had a massage done in Thailand, and after that all my bones were creaking, but it wasn't erotic."

"So they didn't massage you in the right way. Doctor Dot's massage is special, that's why she's got loads of rock stars and other famous people as clients, such as Def Leppard, The Rolling Stones, Sting, Eros Ramazzotti and Bruce Willis. And do you think that our Misha is worse than Bruce Willis? Ok, maybe he chewed his tie out of nerves, but there's no need to make a fuss about it, it's not as if he chewed his own ears off. Although...." Gurik takes a significant pause, and then speaks in a mysterious whisper, "Doctor Dot gives the most amazing massage!" And then my friend's laughter erupts down the line.

"Stop pulling my leg, Guram," I asked my former neighbour from the same staircase, "what has that Dot of yours got up to there?"

"Do you know, Sasha, people say that she bites her clients on the back, that's her unusual massage technique."

"It's good that she doesn't bite you on other parts..."

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